..I started P90X

It happened.. I, um have started P90X. Today is Day 9 of well, 90 & uh, yeah.. So, Reg, my fiancé, has done portions of the series before, so he kinda gives me a heads up of what's next and stuff because this is my first go around with good ole Tony.

You don't have to have a ton of equipment to do it, which rocks, but we did have to order a chin up bar. Mmk, let's just say we have an abnormal house. This means anything that could have been designed weird or out of box or unnecessarily was, which makes the house just all together odd. For starters, if you want to flush either toilet, you pull up - that's right, PULL UP - this stick thingy on the top of the toilet tank; there's a central vac system, so you can basically sweep into the wall of the kitchen & you can vacuum into the walls of any other room; there's a ceiling fan in EVERY SINGLE ROOM, even the kitchen, which already has a low ceiling, so it's super great for tall people (which we both are); they chose the 1950's diner style black & white tile for the floors of the ENTIRE BOTTOM FLOOR - which includes the den, bathroom, dinning room, kitchen, laundry room & sun room. Some of you might be thinking, "oh man, that's sounds so cute!" ..it's not. I promise. Every odd & custom bulb fits perfectly into every odd light fixture. There are, at least, 37 outlets in each room; some for random sound system cords or the weird intercom or alarm system or the stupid light in the random corner of the room. THIS is what I deal with. This, well & a bunch of other strange choices, but I think my fingers would fall off like in that insurance or something like that commercial if I were to type all of the things. So, yes, our house is strange. And why does this strangeness relate to my p90x discussion? Well, you see this chin up bar has to fit inside a door way. And because we ordered the type of chin up bar that requires you to screw into the wall, we have to have a doorway that does not have a door that needs to be closed. Well, we only have 1 of those & guess what?! The stupid bar doesn't fit!! Our doorway is too thick & this chin up bar can't physically fit. SO, with 8 lovely holes in our newly painted wall, I try another doorway (when I'm home alone one afternoon - you won't believe the combination of words that came out of my mouth throughout this process. Joan Rivers might have been offended.) Well, doorway #2 was too wide. Fracking bar isn't wide enough. Alriiiight! 8 more holes. Gosh, I'm so good. Well, I putty the 16 holes & repaint the walls & put the most hated chin up bar in all the world out of sight, out of mind. Can't quit now, right? We gots some p90x to get going.. Thanks to a friend I find out there are such bars that don't require you to drill into the wall & they allow you to put them up & take them down in seconds. DUH! *palm to face* (why didn't I think of this..) Chin up bar on Amazon Okay. The chin up bar mystery is solved; I know what I need to order. But now there's the whole part where Jonette can't do pull ups. Yea, ya know how like in elementary & middle school when we had to do the physical fitness tests & pull ups were always involved. Yeah, well, Jonette's total number of Kill Bill pull ups was always a whopping ZERO. Okay. Okay, so what? Never done any before. Don't look at me like that. Well, p90x requires you to be able to do them as part of the work out. Sure you'll get stronger so you can do more, but you kinda need to do at least 1 so you can, ya know, not just hang there & look sexy in your workout outfit. Not. The. Point. Well, guess what?! You can get these gigantic rubber bands that you loop 1 end around the bar & your foot in the other & then push that end down to the ground. THEN you use the resistance of the band to help you get up! Rubber bands on Amazon Thank you, same friend for opening my eyes to the world of pull ups!! So, I order the bar & a set of 3 bands that you work down on to eventually no band at all. Great. Now the sweating can commence. 

Day 1 is nothing but push ups & pull ups & various exercises with dumbbells. Oh. My. Heavens. These push ups. Oh, I had the pull ups down. And by down I mean, I could do 5-8 of the different styles with the thickest band whilst Tony is doing 40 with his pinkie finger & his pet unicorn standing next to him. SO, these push ups. A few styles I had heard of & could do several, but then there were the Diamond & the Dive Bomber ones. Let's see, on my written record of the evening (we're encouraged to keep track of what we can do in each video) I have a half of a Diamond & a fourth of a Dive Bomber push up noted. A HALF & a FOURTH. I think that spells pathetic in another language. The Dive Bomber push up involves you on your hands with your feet spread wide, butt up. You dip your head then chin then chest then hips "under a fence" & then reverse it. Mmhhm.. try one. I dare you. Jonette killed it with a fourth. WOOOOOOO.    

Day 2 is Pylometrics or something like that. I prefer to call it PLYLO for no reason at all. It is 60 minutes of jumping & squatting in every possible shape & direction you could possibly move & is considered the most difficult of the p90x workouts. I looked like Bob from Veggie Tales after we finished. See? I'm the red one. Yes, I think it made me shorter, too.

Day 3-6 included a leg & butt day, a yoga day, a more arms & shoulders day & then a Tae Bo sorta day. I've done yoga lots of times before, but Reg (fiancé) hasn't. I wish I would have videoed this work out. Him in this workout was solid gold. The things he said & the way I'd look over & see him in his version of the skill was the best ever. We even turned a few of the stretches & poses into couples yoga ...BAHAHA if someone would have walked in on us.. Imagine Meet the Fockers 2 when his mother leads her class. While still in the frog pose together, we started talking as if we were hosting a couples yoga class. In that soothing sort of almost tired sounding voice "Hello, ladies & gentlemen & welcome to couple yoga. Yes, just touch your partner & breathe.. .. ..." Are there legit classes like this? I need to find one. 

Have any of you worked out with your partner or significant other? A few months ago when Reg first told me he wanted to start running together (this lasted one night) I almost pooped my pants. The first night of p90x I was so nervous, I kept saying "please don't watch me" because I didn't want to look stupid in front of him. Okay, I have to pause here because me looking stupid or doing something stupid is a daily ritual, so it was actually stupid for me to be self conscious here. Anywho, we've now done 9 days of this thang & I love that we are doing it together. *slow wink* It is hilarious & motivating & romantic all at the same time. So, put on your spandex, grab your lover & do something athletic. It might be one of the best ways to bond ever. 

Is that your a new hair color or the left over buffalo sauce..?

I'm 28 years old & i've never colored my hair by myself. For some of you that's nothing impressive because you weren't gifted with white, wiry hairs that make their appearance on your head with such gusto as Tom Cruise on Oprah's couch that one time. For years I was against the whole doing anything that's not natural for/to my body. Well, that shipped sailed about 2 & 1/2 years ago. I was going through a difficult breakup & had transformed into this new sort of butterfly & was all into trying different stuff, so I temporarily dyed my hair just to see if I'd like it. I chose a deep red because I felt that would look good with the freckles & pink undertones in my pale skin. A few months later I chose to get it professionally done & haven't looked back since. People say the color looks like I was born with it. "Weh heh heh ellll, thank you," I say. 

Unfortunately, I have these really amazing white & grey hairs that love showing off. And with a medium brown natural color & a deep red artificial color, those bad boys stick out like Willie Nelson at a 4 year old's tea party in the Hamptons. (no idea why he was the first celebrity that popped into my head) So, I have to keep my business colored more often than most & tonight I chose to do it by myself to save a little cash. 

This was after I scrubbed my skin to remove
the evidence.

Currently I'm sitting waiting for the timer to buzz. It looks as if I dunked my head into a barrel of Sriracha sauce. I have no idea what it's going to look like. This is the first solo box dye I've experienced.  The 3 times before I had friends do it; 1 was for Halloween, 1 for a play I did in Georgia & the last time was when I was seeing if I'd want to dye my hair officially. So, it's in. It's on my hair & my scalp & pretty much my entire body. I'd be working hard for a minute & then look down to find myself & pretty much every surface in the bathroom covered with this sorta thick red-orange goo. Slowly but surely it has gotten progressively darker & I'm scared that when I step out of the shower I'm gonna look like I should be in a Pink video. I thought this picture showcased the hot sauce nicely. 

I remember the time my friend temporarily dyed my hair (for the play), I had my eyes closed as I began washing the color out in the shower & when I opened them, I screamed. It looked like I was at a crime scene! Red was EVERYWHERE.

Okay. Timer went off. Let's go see what's what..

..oh my gosh it looks good. I think I even just heard a few catcalls from across the street. S'alright ladies! If you want some better color on your head between salon visits, I now can say I trust & recommend Garnier Nutrisse Ultra Color -R2. I'm not sure about the other colors, but I imagine they're probably alright if this one is. Pretty spot on color match to what I was getting before. Maybe even better than my last salon visit & this was $7. Talk about saving $60. Yeeeeehawwwwww. 

Now, all I can think of is buffalo sauce. 

Relation-ships.

Yup. 'Relation Ships'. It's a world-wide chain. You take a cruise with another human. At first you're excited because you saw the add one day at the doctor's office & you worked up the courage to call & find out more. Turns out you're available to go so you buy some new clothes to get ready for the day you take off. You learn how to pack things tightly (take that how you want), you read some tip books & blogs, you make sure you're not late. (Again, take that how you want to) So, the day comes: you show up & you hop on the ship. You're nervous & unsure how to stand & worried you're not gonna like it or have fun. So far so good. Still in major analysis zone though. Welp after a while, you get to your room & clean up, but then you're not sure after that. Do you venture off to the areas you haven't been to, yet? Try out the midnight yogurt bar? Again you work up some more courage & you decide to take it to the next level. Everything keeps going okay, so you stick with the routine you've gotten used to. Then after a little while you decide it's time for some introductions. You merge the worlds, shake everybody's hands.  Everyone liked everyone! Yay. You can continue. As the time goes by, you get farther out from shore. Just deeper & deeper into the big journey on the ocean & you feel so confused when you think about what life was like before. And then you think I couldn't possibly live life without this cruise ship. It's just how you want it. It's like you have these buffets that offer so many different things but easily & at your finger tips. Who knew trying new things wouldn't be difficult!  You can try something new whenever you wanted. You know it so well now, you never have to worry how it's gonna take certain things. It's almost like you know how to manipulate it. Just kidding. But sort of, ya know? Eh..okay. This is taking a while. Who knew I was going to get this into this cruise analogy? So anyway, it's pretty close to the same thing. 

The last connection I'll describe is that there are so many different types. You've seen all the commercials for the different styles. I've had a few different ones that's for sure. And they all have their benefits afterwards. What you took away was like a new gadget to add to your tool belt. Definitely had the ones that redefined me as a human. It's a fact that the shell of me is similar, just a lil more tired at times & with red hair, but the junk inside has grown & evolved in the best ways possible to have become this person that likes herself much more, feels comfortable to have an opinion & likes to wear lipstick everyday. It is crazy to try & think like my 5 year ago brain did. Can't do it. Don't worry about it. I don't want to ever go through the crap I did before again. That was some low stuff. BUT. BUTT  if I have to have to have to in order to get to where I am now.. WHERE'S THE SIGNUP SHEET? I'm thankful for the me that's bumming around town these days. It feels as if I have climbed a really tall something, like the Crag. Remember that? Gosh I wanted to be on that show so badly when I was a kid. GUTS RIP. Where are you now, Mo? Did I lose some people? Mmk. Relating ships to one another. Yes. I've had my share. It's also bizarre to think about how resilient we are. I mean, damn. Our skin is surely made of rubber with like the energizer bunny laced inside. I was especially surprised to believe that I was able to come back from the times when the Avalanche just kept falling. It's not that easy, world. 

Then there's all that time where I was single. Lots of Gilmore Girls & the new Sherlock Holmes movies. Lots of solo kitchen dancing where I'd end up lying on my kitchen floor watching fan spin & counting the lady bugs on my walls. Lots of cereal. So much cereal. My classic moves usually included the following: come home after work, cook something, eat it while watching GG, continue to lie there, eventually peel off certain pieces of clothing, grab the cereal box, lie back down, start to doze off with all the lights & too many layers of clothes on - usually my shoes, GG still, and I'd wake up with various dishes in my lap and/or cereal in my hair at 3 AM, then I'd finally get ready for bed. My best nights, notice how I wrote 'best' - we're not gonna discuss the worst ones, most of the times ended with me waking up at 4 to find my mug of tea spilled in my lap & on my sheets, I'd proceed to cover it with a towel & fall back to sleep. 

I wish I could sign up for one of those monthly clubs that sends you stuff except this one would be for new kinds of cereal. HEAVEN. 

More food in hair related stories to come. Lata flava. 

The beginning. The intro.

"Look out world. Here comes Jonette!" Growing up, this is what my Nana would tell me to say out loud when I would wake up. This was and is how I was encouraged to greet the world each and every day. Saying this would give the planet a moment to catch her breath before my feet hit the floor. It was the calm before the storm; the eye of the hurricane; the brief commercial break before the winner was announced on American Idol; the last chance everyone else would be allowed to goof off before my kind of party entered the room. This was how I was raised. I was taught never to settle; to constantly keep reaching for my dreams; to be the good everyone else saw in the world; to make a difference; to make it better; to "make 'em laugh"; to be myself & to never be sorry. "Don't say 'you're sorry'," Nana would say. "You're not a sorry person!" Followed by a sip of her tea & a sweet pinch on my rear, Nana would have gotten her 'sugar' from me, her one & only Peanut Butter. She's the queen of my life I attempt to copy. Maybe she takes a bite of an apple and then goes over to kiss her sweet Johnny mine. That's my Granddaddy & that's what she calls him. I learned how to spell 'Oldsmobile' whilst sitting in his lap in the front seat of their car. I fell in love with space and God and learned how to use my imagination because of him. He is the smartest & most gentle man I know. Their kids, my mother & uncle, are a hilarious set. The love those two show for their parents is unmatched. Their generosity & thoughtfulness is something I strive for daily. My father, a man with an enormous amount of intimidation factors is the sweetest teddy bear of them all. He has the biggest heart & would literally find a way to lasso Pluto for me if I said I felt sorry for it & thought it needed a new home. My dad's mom, who's probably playing Bridge in Heaven right now, lived with such a calm sense of style & love for her son. These are some of my immediate family; the ones who have the biggest chunks of my heart at least. And I guess I felt it necessary to gush about these people. Well, now you have a better idea of why I am the way I am. I've been through a lot that has transformed me into the newest version of myself, but no doubt this group had some hands in the mix, too. 

Some of the above & a few other friends have been saying for years that I should start a blog. Well, I finally sat down with enough of an attention span to do it. This is kind of one of those streams of consciousness landing pads. I couldn't tell you what's gonna be up in this thing the next time, it's gonna be an interesting ride. I hope to one day know what I should be doing with my life. I'm searching. Always searching. So.. I guess we'll figure it out together. I appreciate your um.. patience with the lil trip I'm going on. I'm at a place in my life where I feel like there are 15 different paths I could possibly travel, but the map I have is faded & has too many coffee stains to be readable. Alas, here I am, kind of pacing, posing for attention every so often, just wondering & waiting for life to pull me strongly enough down one of those paths. Life doesn't make sense at times. This is something I have to keep reminding myself of: I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING nor what happens next. I don't have the TV show series booklet that give us a summary of each season. My life didn't come with that one. It did however come with the 'How to create an awkward moment anywhere & with anyone' booklet, the 'How to choose every wrong way to do something before you choose the right one' booklet, the 'Wanna go for all the jobs you never ultimately wanted? Here's how!' series & the 'You're never gonna poach an egg. Stop trying.' pamphlet. My life's not THAT sad & bland. No. Surely not. It's not. It's not? It's snot.

All for now. *dramatic wink*
Come & get me.